I would never have imagined that the movie “Muppets Most Wanted” would be the perfect movie to watch on my flight home to close my time in Paris, but it was.  Even though the movie wasn’t particularly good, it featured a character that reminded me of why I write these blogs (besides the fact that they are part of my grade…) There is a French detective from Interpol who embodies many of the classic stereotypes Americans have of the French: he sips from a miniscule coffee cup, is constantly taking lunch breaks of several hours, and tries to leave on an 8-week vacation before his job is done.  Obviously his quirks were extremely exaggerated, and yet I couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed that on some level most Americans probably see that portrayal as fairly accurate.

Don’t get me wrong: Americans are not the only ones doing the stereotyping (I myself have been the victim of vicious overgeneralizations as the World Cup recently started and everyone feels the need to help me understand the significance of the most important “football” tournament in the world; it doesn’t help that I have to ask about the rules every five minutes.)  Indeed, cultural classifications are rampant around the world.  We do it because it’s much simpler to say “French people are lazy” or that “Americans don’t care about the environment” than it is to try to understand the complexities and nuances of a culture, and we humans of the modern age hate it when we can’t sum up our perspectives in tweetable fashion.  I’m not saying we shouldn’t ever make generalizations.  What I am saying is that our experiences with other peoples and cultures will be much more rewarding if we doubt the negative stereotypes we’ve heard about them and choose to explore who they are without all of our biases.

Bref.  There are so many subjects I could cover for my final post, but I thought I’d stick to something close to home: college life.  Since I spent most of my time in Paris with university students, I feel adequately equipped to talk about the significant differences between our two countries. 

Let’s start with cost.  How would you like your college education to free?  This concept is almost inconceivable to American students’ whose average debt upon graduating from a 4-year university is in the tens of thousands of dollars (much more for those who attend private schools).  Americans love talking about how much more the French government taxes their people, but what they never talk about is what the people get back in return.  Much of the revenue from taxes is funneled into education.  College students in France only pay a few hundred euros a year. A year.

You might be thinking that the lower cost means poorer facilities, limited research opportunities, or less-qualified professors, but this is not at all the case.  Part of the reason that French universities can maintain a high level of quality with extremely lower fees is that they focus solely on education.  They don’t build multi-million dollar football stadiums (good luck filling up that new stadium now that Johnny Manziel is gone, Texas A&M!), pay coaches and athletic directors ridiculous amounts of money, or spend time recruiting up-and-coming sports stars.  If you’re like me, it’s probably hard for you to imagine how you could have survived college without Saturday football games or March Madness.  And yet, think about how much more your school could accomplish academically if they didn’t put so much emphasis on athletics.  There’s a reason universities like Harvard and Yale have lousy sports teams.

I know I’ve only scratched the surface on this topic, but I like to keep these blogs fairly short.  All I can say is that my two months in France were incredible.  It’s hard for me to believe that I was only there for two months because the friendships and relationships that I developed feel deep and enduring.  I love France and I love the French.  I love the striking green foliage and the old-fashioned countryside; I love the city with its never-ending shops and international character.  I love the French’s pride and determination to preserve their culture; I love their sarcastic humor and their obsession with double negatives.  I could go on, but instead I’ll just say that I’ll be back.  I’ll be back to see more of what I loved and to discover more of what I didn’t have a chance to experience. Vive la France!

Au revoir,

Brian

Most students studying a foreign language in a more serious capacity know wordreference.com to be one of the best online translating tools available. I use it regularly personally, for papers, as well as for my internship, and it rarely lets me down. Last week as I was finishing up a paper about cultural differences between France and the United States, I put in a word that I knew I wouldn't find a good translation for: "dating." Despite my low expectations I was still shocked by the response I got: "traduction non-disponible" ("translation unavailable").

That had never happened to me before, and yet it was perfect. "Dating," as we understand it in the US, doesn't exist in France. There is no word for a "date" in the sense of a couple going out together in a formal setting to get to know each other better. I first started to understand this concept while serving as a missionary for the LDS church in Québec, Canada. I had a native French companion who phrased it perfectly once, and what he said has always stuck with me (I've shared this with several people, so this may not be new for some of you). He said, "You Americans are weird. You date someone to see if you love them, but in France we date someone because we love them." When I asked him the inevitable question of how you know you love someone without dating them a little first he responded simply, "You just know."

While that might seem beautifully romantic to some, it was perplexing to me. The French tend to be less flirtatious as Americans (at least as overtly) and more serious in their dating habits. For example, if someone asks someone to go out for the night-for dinner, a movie, or whatever-it probably means they've gotten to know you well and are almost certain that they're ready to pursue a serious relationship.  A lot of the young people here are fairly shocked when I tell them that it's not uncommon for Americans to ask someone on a date after only knowing them a very short time-maybe even just a few hours or less (granted, this process might be particularly fast at BYU among girl-deprived guys just home from a 2-year mission).

Part of the difference stems directly from the language. In French the closest word they have to describe what a date consists of is deceiving. "Sortir" means "to go out," but it has a much more permanent connotation in French than it does in English.  A couple of weeks ago, I was trying to explain to a friend here how it wasn't uncommon for me or other guys at BYU to go out with one girl on a Wednesday or Thursday night and another girl on Friday or Saturday. My friend was appalled. While I was trying to communicate that I went out with two different girls, she was hearing that I dated one girl on Thursday and dated another girl on Saturday; in essence, she understood that I was seriously dating both of them at the same time! It took me some time to explain that the girls wouldn't be surprised or particularly disturbed by the situation, and that the girls themselves most likely had multiple dates in the same week.

I did not intend to spend a whole entry on this subject, but I admit that I have found it both frustrating and hilarious trying to comprehend these differences between our cultures when it comes to romantic relationships, as well as why they exist. Like many aspects of French culture, this was something that I understood theoretically before coming here, but seeing it in action has made me realize just how quickly an American in France (or a Français in the States) could get him or herself in trouble. What might be considered harmless in one country could be heartbreaking in another; maybe love isn't such an international language after all.

Gros bisous,
Brian